This is a cut-and-paste from my blog over at Occult Corpus. My work with some Huna methods has been important to the development of my work with Three Worlds Magick, and is a reason for some parts of the system bearing a very superficial resemblance to Feri Tradition.
During the years that I was “inactive” magickally, I started to play around with more internalized (and sometimes, more passive) modalities. For many years after I had ceased (consciously) performing magickal operations, I was physically ill and burned out and doubting myself. I did dabble in other spiritual modalities – I bought T. Thorne Coyle’s book, Evolutionary Witchcraft. My research into Feri Tradition, however, didn’t get very far. I liked specific aspects of the practices (the Three Soul stuff; it resonated strongly with me – many years ago, shortly before my crash and burn, I had labeled my hidden higher self the “Third Part”).
I found that basically the parts of Feri that I liked, were the parts that had been imported from Huna. I already had a book which talked somewhat about Huna practices (“Finding Each Other” by Don and Mary Kelly), and liked the Huna paradigm, and found it to be fairly gentle compared to other things I had practiced. In fact, it was just the gentle type of paradigm I needed for the years that I was healing (apparently it scales up into full blown magickal operations, of the natural magick variety, but I haven’t used them; I actually did not perform any kind of magickal rituals for years.)
Best of all, it did not require belief, just the patience to learn to interpret the symbols of my unconscious. The specific practices I stuck with, didn’t require that I raise energy (I was energetically very damaged and it took years to really recover). Belief was something I was lacking and this worked great for me. In many respects it was deeply mystical while not having to be mystical at all. A complete dyed in the wool atheist/skeptic who utterly disbelieves in the supernatural let alone the Magickal Will can still get something out of some of the practices (many of which are similar to some therapy modalities).
My very favorite practice was the Garden Meditation. Sometimes I ventured from there (it can be used as a jumping off point for astral travel but it itself is more of a liminal space). But often, I just stayed within the Garden.
Sometimes, the things I got from the practices surprised me. You can invite anyone into your Garden with you: just imagine a place for them to sit, and invite them in, and listen to what they have to say. I invited the most recent man I had dated. What I heard, surprised me. I had seen myself as the wronged party. Why didn’t he fall in love with me. How dare he even bother with me if he wasn’t going to keep me in his life for more than three dates.
What I heard surprised me. That MY expectations actually had been narcissistic – that he’d liked me but I hadn’t even given him a chance to like me before driving him off. And the vibes had been weird and toxic before he’d even gotten a chance.
It wasn’t the first or last time I”ve gotten something surprising from the Garden. But it stands out. This is the last thing I would’ve considered myself to have been doing; my programming was that I was always the wronged party. I’m also in a culture that tends to frame women as “victims” when a man backs out of a short lived sexual connection of any kind, for any reason, without offering A Relationship. I could not have imagined myself in any way as the source of any of the feelings of “ickiness” between us, but I was. I had basically created a script and just dropped the next unsuspecting person into the script, having little to nothing to do with their feelings or wishes, and didn’t even know this person. The meditation very clearly showed me that he had actually been the one closer to reality about the whole affair. I moved on, feeling at peace with what had happened, and seeing my part in it.
This, in fact, is about 75% of the magickal work I do anymore. I dominantly direct much of my attention inside, making little nudges to my character where necessary.
I don’t really remember the last time that I did externally focused work, or in any way tried to nudge the world around me into a response – that belonged to my 20s, and isn’t something I’ve done in a long time… though I’m definitely going to take another whack at it, at some point. I know that I have to.
(Update: I’ve been doing exterior work again for quite some time. It’s gone quite well.)